well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
