she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
