he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
