Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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