Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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