It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
even my farts smell like vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
