this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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