So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
