im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
