So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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