Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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