Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize