if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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