If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
