I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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