Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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