There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
