I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
