i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
