it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
