You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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