Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
