The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
