you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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