3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
