I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
