if you like me you must not know who I am
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize