I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
