Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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