just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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