it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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