who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
