tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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