we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
