So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
