So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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