honey bunches of taint.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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