It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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