The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
