Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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