vagina is talking i cant
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
