So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
