it hurts more in the daytime
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
