i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
