He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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