worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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