Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
