is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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