So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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