my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Two words: nipple clamps
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