Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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