i don't like sucking hair
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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