You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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