It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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