can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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