is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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