windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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