She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
